"I am my wife's boyfriend"

Let me recount to you our experience today at Well's Fargo. I am not a great writer and so it will be difficult to capture just how funny this experience was, but I think I should try.

First, the banker who was helping us was this 60 year old overweight woman who was quiet, kind of spacey, nice, and I am almost certain she wet her pants right before helping us. But thats a different story. Dan saw how quiet she was and decided to try and liven up the situation, so while I discussed finances with her, he tossed in his off-hand comments (for example the irresponsible spending of the American government). These comments were mumbled awkwardly, but were just loud enough for the banker to hear and quiet enough for her to ignore. When it came time to pick out checks, the lady left and Dan and I agreed on some very professional looking wells fargo ones. However when she came back and inquired if we had decided Dan replied, "yes, but the superman checks were a close second". She smiled uncomfortably.

Next we wanted to close Dan's account and put him on my 'preferred member account'. This is funny because Dan switched to Schwab a while back and has been phasing out his Wells account, so when she pulled up his information he only had 30 dollars to his name. But when she pulled up mine, it showed all my savings, investments, and assets- demonstrating to her that Dan got the better end of the deal in the merger. Dan then proceeded to ask if he could keep his credit card, and did so by pulling it out of his wallet and passing it to her as if to prove he owned a credit card. She said of course, then proceeded to ask what he wanted to do with his thirty dollars; like a true 'dead beat husband' he asked for it in cash.

So she walked us over to the counter to get his dough and while we were waiting she made small talk and asked how long we had been married, I said since May and Dan chimed in with a slight smile, "but it feels like just yesterday". She chuckled and said, "well he's a smooth talker." She then asked what I would be when I finished grad school, I replied an Architect. She asked Dan what he does and he answered: "I am my wife's boyfriend." Now you have to understand at this point we weren't aware at how this was all coming across, he was just making a Dr. Laura reference and trying to get a rise out of the quiet lady, but we later realized that by him saying that, her suspicions of me being a sugar mama were solidified. We actually didn't recognize how comical the whole scenario was until nearly 8 hours after the fact which made the experience a whole lot funnier......at least for us.