dana schutz

my favorite contemporary artist is dana schutz, i am currently writing a paper on her and i just think she is wonderful. here's why:

1) she is young yet has established a reputation
2) her works are bright and colorful yet have gruesome subject matter
3) she makes up fictional narratives for her subjects, gives them life
4) i can understand it

men's retreat


autopsy of michael jackson


poisoned man


fanatics



surgery

who am i?

some questions from Max Frisch that i got from sam

1. Are you really interested in the preservation of the human race once you and all the people you know are no longer alive?
yes

2. State briefly why.
because if what i believe to be true is true, then me and everyone i know will never really die and therefore, the preservation of life still effects me.

3. How many of your children do not owe their existence to deliberate intention?
as of now 0, i hope it stays that way

4. Whom would you rather never have met?
there isn't anybody

5. Are you conscious of being in the wrong in relation to some other person (who need not necessarily be aware of it)? If so, does this make you hate yourself -- or the other person?
- not really, i don't think i would consciously be in the wrong. if i i was conscious of it i would apologize and try and fix it

6. Would you like to have perfect memory?
- interesting question, at first i though yes, of course! but then i realized that memories are often altered over time to be more pleasing or more disturbing than the actual event really was. this makes remembering more interesting and more nostalgic. plus, no one wants to be reminded constantly of all the hard times and dumb things that they have done. then again i could be really good at test taking and remembering people's names. hard question.

7. Give the name of a politician whose death through illness, accident, etc. would fill you with hope. Or do you consider none of them indispensible?
can't think of someone, does that make me out of touch with current events

8. Which person or persons, now dead, would you like to see again?
grandma pat and grandpa tom, gam gam and pop pop

9. Which not?
can't think of one

10. Would you rather have belonged to a different nation (or civilization)? If so, which?
not really but i kind of wish i was more in touch with my heritage...i am greek

11. To what age do you wish to live?
as old as i can still go on enjoying life

12. If you had the power to put into effect things you consider right, would you do so against the wishes of the majority? (yes or no)
yes, most people don't know what's good for them...i do

13. Why not, if you think they are right?

14. Which do you find it easier to hate, a group or an individual? And do you prefer to hate individually or as part of group?
a group is easier to hate because groups are not as personal; i would also like to hate as a group because it would make me feel as if my hate was justified

15. When did you stop believing you could become wiser-- or do you still believe it? Give your age.
21, i still believe it

16. Are you convinced of your own self criticism?
yes

17. What in your opinion do others dislike about you, and what do you dislike about yourself? If not the same thing, which do you find it easier to excuse?
different people dislike different things. one recent criticism is that i think my way is always best. i dislike how sporadic i am, i constantly change interests, i get bored of things easily and i feel as if i am wasted potential. i think the first one is easier to excuse because if i didn't think it was the right way to do something i wouldn't do it that way

18. Do you ever find the thought that you might never have been born disturbing to you?
not really, i wouldn't have known any differently

19. When you think of someone dead, would you like him to speak to you, or would you rather say something more to him?
i want them to speak to me, a dead person has already lived, what can i tell them that they haven't already experienced? but i have not yet had the opportunity to die

20. Do you love anybody?
yes

21. How do you know?
because no one else has ever made me feel this way, so it must be love right

22. Let us assume that you have never killed a human being, how do you account for it?
account for never killing anyone? i don't get it

23. What do you need in order to be happy?
still trying to figure that out, because i seem to have everything i need and yet some days i wake up sad

24. What are you grateful for?
many things: family, friends, love, education, testimony, sunshine, health, water, support, books, exercise, etc.

25. Which would you rather do: die or live as a healthy animal? Which animal?
die or live? live...a dolphin, i love water, and dolphins always seem to be having fun

who loves the sun? who cares that it makes plants grow?

utah drivers are terrible, absolutely terrible! they are just so oblivious to anyone else on the road. i almost got hit while riding my bike three times today. i mean came seriously close. two drivers had to slam on their brakes and with the other car i had to swerve. if that's not enough to get you riled up, try this: sam did get hit today! how? by a driver who failed to look both ways! share the road!

in further news, i met with a counselor today to discuss possible career moves. first of all, this guy was just the cutest old man, probably about 80, and so adorable. anyway, so i start to tell him about different options, i have previous experience within the fashion industry and can go back, but the pay isn't as good, i may pursue a master's of architecture, blah blah blah, etc., etc. etc., all of a sudden he tells me i should really consider working for hertz rent a car..wtf! then he asked about government type jobs, i told him i like mysteries and crime solving and he said hmm well you could work for the social security department, make sure old people get their checks....wtf! then he suggested that i work for the boy scouts...wtf! we meet again tomorrow.

nice chinese man

today dan told me a story in which his t.a. had to run and borrow a dvd player from a different room. apparently when she came back the teacher asked where did you find it and she said "oh i took it from the room of a nice chinese man."

first of all, chances are he wasn't even chinese. but why do we so often find it necessary to emphasize someone's nationality? her relating the ethnicity of the man didn't change or enhance her story in any way. she probably felt self-assured her comment was in no way insensitive, because she made sure to call him a "nice" chinese man. its belittling in someways. don't get me wrong, i don't think she is racist, i just don't see why it is necessary to say he was chinese. if he had been white she would not have said "oh a nice white man gave it to me". its just that i think we try so hard to be sensitive of other races that it turns into insensitivity.

morris center

tonight dan and i went to the morris center for a nice sunday dinner. actually it wasn't nice at all and the food was terrible but it was more for the experience and to people watch. being a DT alumni and having gained a good 15 pounds from the morris center "food" i thought i might relive those tragic days before i graduate...you know, for old time sakes. the food hasn't gotten any healthier which actually really makes me mad. i considered writing a letter to the editor about it, but i figured i would blog instead.

the other day there was an article in the daily universe about healthy eating habits, well i am sorry, but byu is terrible about providing healthy options. in the cafeterias, the food is fried, covered in cream and the vegetables are canned or over cooked (cooking veggies sucks them of their nutrients). not only do they provide students with perfect opportunities to become fat and idle, they don't offer any healthy alternatives. tonights dinner? chicken coren bleu (which is breaded and covered in cream sauce) or steak. mashed potatoes or peas. then there was a fried chicken bar with fries. if you didn't like any of those options you could always opt for the ice cream or waffle station.

byu prides itself on developing and strengthening one's spirit, well one's physical wellness is just as important as one's spiritual or mental health. living a life that is morally clean and spiritually uplifting is difficult and you often have to sacrifice pleasures that prove tempting, well nutrition is the same way. why do americans think that they can eat whatever whenever?

i wish i could change the nutrition at byu, even the pendulum court which is run by the nutrition department is lacking in nutritious options. something really should be done, but i am leaving, and i don't have any power anyway.

faceoff

so the other day in kick boxing, there was this girl with bleach bleach blond hair and really fake tan skin, and a ton of black eyeliner, and i thought you can't tell what she really looks like. so that made me think, what would i look like if someone else had my face and body. that person would dress me differently, do my hair differently, would they make me fat or anorexically skinny? i would look so different depending on the person who had control. like the girl in kick boxing she would make me look really done up, fake everything, abercrombie clothes. but if it was some hipster they would probably give me a cool haircut and fashionable clothes. the two versions of me would be total opposites. cool to think about...is this making sense?

parents give good hand me downs

the other day i started thinking about all the good things i have acquired from my parents' house, things they don't want anymore. i am going to las vegas next weekend and i can't wait to get some more loot. here's what i have collected thus far

a great record player:


good records


unused fondue set (chris and cathie's wedding present)


chris' vintage ramone's tshirt from an acutal ramone's concert


great mixing bowl


cool vintage dooney and bourke key chain

just say no

milk is poison i don't eat meat or dairy but if i had to choose between a steak and a glass of milk, i think i would eat the steak. plus milk gives me gas.

obsessed

i have a midterm tomorrow that i really need to study for but i can't stop procrastinating. the main distraction in my life is a game that i used to play in high school and have now started playing again. text twist is the best computer game ever!

childhood books part II

so the only books that i loved more than "choose your own adventure" were "Goosebumps". I loved "Goosebumps" so much, my brother and I collected all until about number 55, we used to keep them in pillowcases...they stopped at 62. I did several book reports on them including "Be Careful What you Wish For"
.
I also did a video project in which my entire family enacted scenes from "Escape from Horrorland"
.
We also owned the video version of "The Haunted Mask"


Although i enjoy reminiscing about old Goosebumps books, i can't do it without feeling somewhat guilty. you see, as kids we got half our age in allowance, so my brother being 7 got 3.50, about the price of a book at the LVDS student store, i got 4.50. well, even though i made more than boodle did, i never paid for one book, he bought all 55. cathie probably bought a few, but still, think of how much money he could have saved had we split it! such a good brother.

kitty

so last night i was leaving class. i was feeling great because the midterm that i had been dreading for a week was finally over. it was warm out and i was going out dinner, so you know...i was feeling really good about things. all of a sudden, to my surprise, i saw a cute white kitten trotting along. it had 3 cute brown stripes on its tail. anyway this cat and i had a connection, i looked at it and it looked at me and suddenly it turned around and started trotting right toward me. i thought this is so great, and i imagined myself picking up the kitten and giving him some warm shelter and love and showing my new found friend to all of my human friends, and just having a good time. well, we got about 3 feet away from each other and he got scarred and ran away. it broke my heart. i hope he found something to eat last night.

nostalgia

i miss being in an urban setting. i miss san francisco. i miss riding the muni. i miss mindy and kathryn. i miss katy. i miss herbivore and cafe gratitude. i miss fun things like craft club, urban camping, toaster oven smores, beach in marin, and palo alto. i miss golden gate park and the japanese gardens. dating in the city was fun, i miss that too.







i am sick of all the restaurants in provo and having to drive to slc to get that city feel. the best thing about provo, besides my friends, is international cinema and the fact that it is free. other than those two things, i am pretty ready to leave.

but then graduation is scary. do i go back to sf where i want to be more than anything? or do i go to san diego where i could live for free but have a mediocre job? or las vegas where i might be able to get a good design job, but be desperately unhappy because i hate that city. its all so confusing!

girlfriend's give good presents

there are many benefits to having girlfriends, for instance girl-talk. this can't be done with boyfriends. girlfriends also give presents that you would never buy for yourself, but would happily own. take for example my belated christmas present from sam and amanda.
this is a witches date book and it is full of all sorts of useful information. including, but not limited to: methods for cleaning broomsticks, how to make dragon's blood ink, the correct prayer to use for the goddess of parking, and cool witch history.

big belt= game over

i am sure everyone is familiar with the big belt trend, how could you not be? it's everywhere.





big belts were the hottest trend of 2006, and for good reason. they help flatter the waistline, they make baggy shirts tight, and they add nice spice to ordinary outfits. unfortunately; however, i need to inform the world that the big belt trend is officially over. how do i know this? feast your eyes on this photo!

choose your own adventure

recently my mind has been on the "choose your own adventure books." these were a definite childhood favorite


i may try and get my hands on some through ebay.

TRY THIS!
blog your own adventure!
1) once there was a student named charlie who worked really hard. he tried all the time to get good grades, one day, this really cute girl, Jenny, who he had been loving ever since he started school, asked him out. he really wanted to go, but he had a huge reading assignment that he had to finish.
(if you want charlie to go on the date and cheat on the assignment click here).
... so i was going to go ahead and make some big long story with different links and make it really fun and what not, but that would take too much time and creativity and boredom. and i am not quite there yet. maybe i will come back with a 'choose your own adventure' follow up post. sorry.

well the moral of this story is whoever thought of the 'choose your own adventure' novel was a genius.

on a similar but diverging note- another childhood favorite that i thought of the other day was a television game show that was on nickelodeon (i think). i brought this show up in conversation and no one knew what i was talking about. if you remember let me know and i will be very excited! so basically the premise of the show was like a video game and the kids on the show would be inside, yes inside, the game. the kid would choose a door that would lead him to a certain video game that he would then participate in. sound familiar??

cicleta

bar tape has been successfully applied. i went with white, it was the safe choice, but i still don't know if safe was best.



i like keeping a blog because it is easier for me than keeping a journal. although with my next bookbinding project i am going to make a journal, so maybe that will inspire me to write in it. the only downside to blogging is that i am not as honest as i would be in a journal. being a cancer and all, i keep my innermost feelings and secrets deep in my shell.

my parents want me to come home this weekend because i have been too stressed about graduation, i still don't know if i want to or not. if they were in san diego i would definitely go, but las vegas always makes me depressed. it would be nice to see the rents, and i hear boodle (my brother) may be there. i don't know what to do. once again, i would take a poll but i would receive zero responses.

up and at em

i have been in a rut lately and it is about time i emerge and start doing things as i should. here is a list of things i should to get me out of my rut:

1) make bed- always helps
2)clean room and vaccuum (vacuuming always makes things look much cleaner)
3) exercise
4) start my contemporary art research
5) talk to my counselor about graduation
6) cook more
7) read for class
8) get book club book

ok, that's good for now. but as you can see i have a lot to get done. i think i will start by going for a run, that should start me off on the right foot. now for some positive news!

bookbinding is the best class at byu. i am having so much fun. i love crafts. here is my first coptic binding project.


other good news is that my bar tape has come in, now i need to just decide on red or white. i would take a poll, but once again, only about 3 people know i have this and about .01% of them probably read this

atomic clock says 77!

it is a really nice day today, my clock says 77 degrees! i don't know if i believe it. i rode my bike to class today, it felt nice. i can't wait to get my new bar tape, my cicleta will look hot.

my parsley seems to be thriving but the other herbs seem beyond hope. there was one sprig of basil that was healthy but today i knocked it over and the one sprig ripped out, so i think thats done for. too bad eh.

graduation is scary i don't know what to do with my life. i would ask for suggestions but no one reads this because i haven't told anyone i have it. plus if i did they probably wouldn't read it anyway because it is pretty boring. i just talk about my herbs.

dorian, a british guy in my ward, called to tell me about fhe. well since i have gotten off the phone with him my thoughts have an english accent.

chapter 1

i am sad because my herbs are dying from the inversion.

also because i suffer from SAD (although i am self diagnosed) i feel like i am dying. when i don't see the sun for a few days, my mind gets cloudy just like the sky. i can't think straight and i get lazy. like right now i have my art history book open but i am not reading, instead i am typing.

i want to take a nap but naps are for after you get home from a long day... i haven't gone outside. i woke up late and missed church. i got out of bed at 12:30, made my bed, hopped in the shower, got out of the shower, ate a pb, banana, and honey sandwich, and went back to sit on my bed while i read and did homework. why am i so tired? SAD.

i know that if i went running, or for a bike ride or to the gym i would feel much more alert. exercise is a cure all. but today is sunday and i can't exercise on sunday. maybe i will put on some real clothes and jog to the mail box.